A little tyrade

First, don't look at my spelling or punctuation or paragraphs or lack thereof. I just want to write.

So, Isn't a blog someplace where one can vent, express their true feelings and no one will judge them. Random strangers and friends will offer strength and support because they too, know what it's like to feel that way. That is what a blog is for right? If you don't think so, you will probably not want to read this post. I wont have any pics, I might say something funny, but I can't guarantee that.

Along with the post.
Ok-so I really don't know where to start. How about with some adjectives. Overwhelmed, stressed, sad, distressed, depressed, painful, questioning. Ok, some of you know that i have been diagnosed with Chronic Pelvic Pain. i have been dealing with this pain for 3 years. i was just diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. I have had 6 laproscopic surgeries, and a total hysterectomy all of this before the age of 29. No one can fiegure out what is wrong with me, so this is the diagnosis that i now have. i went to my family doc about a month ago and he gave me great hope. He put me on some meds that were really helping me. i woke up and some days were bad days, but most days were good days. i was feeling so happy. i was starting to feel normal. Those of you who have never felt this way, you are so lucky, and i hope that you never do. For those of you who do know how i feel, i will say a prayer for all of you.

Well, the past 5 days or so, things have really done down hill. i woke up one day with swollen feet that progressed to swollen everything. My pain that seemed to be getting under control, all of a sudden was not anymore and i now look in the mirror and hate what i see. My face and neck are so swollen , it looks like i have gained 20 pounds in the last 6 days. My pain is back, just as bad as ever before and now they tell me that i have thyroid problem.

I am just overwhelmed with my life right now. i know that thing s could be far worse than they are. i keep telling myself that, but I am pretty overwhelmed with everything right now. I just want to wake up tomorrow and feel better. i want to sleep and not wake up at 3 because of the pain. I just want to me again. I am sorry that i am going on like this, but i truly feel non judged here. No one tries to fix it, no one tells me that tomorrow will be better and no one tells me that they understand. i have yet to meet someone who totally understands. so, if you are out there, please tell me that i am not alone. I am sorry that i am being such a baby, i am crying as i write this post. I just want to be normal, i want to be a great mom again instead of a mom who is sick. I want to be a wife who can go away for her aniversary which is tomorrow and i can't go. I just want to be me. I know that this is happening for a reason, i know that this is just a trial, i just wish that it was over. Tomorrow will be better than today, my world wont seem so overwhelming, but right now, i feel like I am being crushed with the reality of everything. Well, if any of you are still reading, I appreciate you. Just knowing that i am a part of this whole blogging community sometimes gives me great comfort. thanks so much. I appreciate anyone who reads my blog and leaves a comment, they really do make my day. Ok-enough with the rambling. I said that i would not be wordy-i lied, I'll try better next time.